Showing posts with label Fears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fears. Show all posts
Friday, January 11, 2013

Describe your most embarrassing moment

I think that we have all had embarrassing moments. It is hard to come up with a good one. 

My first child was born October 2008 via emergency C-Section. It was an awful experience, my doctor still doesn't know what happened. Maybe I will tell you all about it one day, if anybody cares to read.

After the procedure I couldn't move very much and needed a lot of help. 

Being the time of person I am, I embarrass all to easy. Just the fact I couldn't clean myself made me go beat red in the face and gave me almost a panic attack. It was embarrassing. Those nurses are trained for that, I get it, I'm a CNA. Yet that feeling of not being able to help myself with a simple task was degrading. It was my fault, and I was embarrassed for that. 

Kind of a sad story, not as funny as it should be. 

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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

My 3 legitimate fears.

Get ready for another installment of my 30 things! I have to be honest, this one stumped me. I have many fears. Thinking of just three legitimate ones is just extremely difficult. Also being as indecisive as I am makes it almost impossible. These have to be my top three fears that I deal with a lot. Now don't laugh.

1. Zombies. I love zombie movies and the walking dead is my favorite show of all time. Often times I find myself waking from a deep sleep and having a panic attack because I had a nightmare that zombies were chasing me or my family. My nightmares can be amazingly scary. Zombies could probably be a metaphor but it still scares me. Maybe I watched too many horror movies or maybe it has to do with the fear below.

2. The dark. You know that feeling you used to get while you were trying to sleep and your closet door was open just a little. Yeah, I still get that horrible feeling. It gives me panic attacks. Actually right now my closet is slightly open and I am too chicken to look over. It's an irrational fear. One that just never left me when I grew up. Even walking in the hallway at night scares me. I have to turn every light on. It's horrible. I often times think to myself "is it even worth it to open my eyes." I seriously psyche myself out.

3. Crowds. Do you see a pattern here? Crowds give me horrible anxiety. It has gotten better since becoming a mom and I have never taken and medication for my anxiety. I refuse to while breastfeeding. Ever since I was little I would hide by myself. It's just my programming. I hate shopping because of it. The thought of shopping gives me anxiety. I hate staying home but I rather go crazy at home than out in a crowd. It's another irrational fear but I have no control over it. I just can't figure it out.